Corporate (hell) eating establishments

2004/08/04 at 13:47

I just called the nearby Macaroni Grill to make a reservation for a coworker’s going away lunch. When the phone was picked up, here’s what I got: “Hi. Thank you for calling Macaroni Grill in West Lake Hills, now offering curbside take-out. This is Stacy. How many I help you?”

Man, I could have gone and smoked a cigarette before Stacy got that out. I just imagine the Director of Telephone Reception at corporate Macaroni Grill’s HQ issuing his weekly memo on how to answer the phone properly, and reports from marketing analysts stating that mentioning curbside take-out in telephone reception will increase sales by X percent.

When I occasionally go through the Taco Cabana drive-through on my way to work to buy a breakfast taco, I get a similar spiel: “Hi, Welcome to Taco Cabana. Can I get you a [current breakfast special] this morning?” Me: “Uh no. I’d like one bacon and egg breakfast taco.”