This is hysterical:
The Catholic Church has been a little down on its luck recently… That’s why I think they should found What Would Atkins Do, Incorporated.
Here’s how it works. The church opens a series of bakeries across the nation, selling all varieties of grain products: bread, muffins, pasta, you name it. Each outlet also employs a deacon, who sanctifies everything before its shipped to locals stores. It would be sort of like the kosher food deal, but, you know, Christier.
And voila: moneymaker! The 96% of the American population currently on the Atkins diet could enjoy all those baked goods they’ve had to forego, without having to worry about meddlesome carbs. Thanks to the (literal!) miracle of transubstantiation, those WWAD cinnamon rolls and bagels will turn into the (literal!) body of Christ after consumption, thereby converting a carbohydrate-laden doughnut into a the relatively carb-free hunk of Messiah. Dieters get to eat bread again and stave off eternal damnation, all at the same time — it’s win-win!